Seven Deadly Sins
by Dizzy3
Summary: When Michael and Maria are given an impossible assingment Maria enlists Michael's powers to help her get the grade. But when things don't go as planned Maria finds herself doing things she wouldn't normally do..


The Seven Deadly Sins 

The Seven Deadly Sins   
By Dizzy ([][1]DizzyGirl85@aol.com)

Disclaimer: Don't Own 'Em. But I Want 'Em. 

Genre: Comedy 

Authors Notes: I got this idea while watching my mother play a game known as Of Light and Darkness: The Prophecy. It's a really cool game based on the end of the world and the seven deadly sins. I don't know why everything seems to influence M&M fanfics but I thought this would be neat as a fluffy side project! Who knows it might turn into much more. Fluff projects have a way of doing that too me! This is possibly the second stupidest thing I have ever written. I'm warning ya.. 

*** 

Part 1: Gluttony 

*** 

Gluttony: Sustaining the self apart from God…a sin in relation to eating one's daily bread. 

*** "A modern translation might be seven terminal spiritual illnesses, for the seven deadly sins refer to the breakdowns or weaknesses, sicknesses or forces within people and communities that tend to deliver them over to the old world of sin ad death…" Ms. Lord snapped the book closed, smiling. "William Stafford's book Disorderly Loves has been hailed a piece of literary history. It is the first book to actual deal with healing ourselves of those evil sins which I know we are all guilty of. For example--" 

She began to walk around the room, setting the book down on her desk before turning around to face the class. "Ms. Evans." She looked at Isabel who was busy applying her newest shade of Candy Apple lipstick to her lips. "Stand up please, Ms. Evans." 

Isabel blushed, snapping her compact closed she let the lipstick drop back into her purse and slowly stood up, regainging her compsure. The group looked on. Where were they? A special mandatory seminar that each English class was required to sit through for one week of hell. Ms. Lord, the head of the English department, thought it would be a good experience for the students, and it wasn't every day that they could book William Stafford himself for a guest apperance at the end of the seminar. Everyone was there, Michael, Maria, Liz, Max, Alex, Isabel, Kyle. Even the Sheriff had stopped by to make sure everyone was orderly in the small classroom that was filled with almost 100 students. 

"Ms. Evans, come here." 

Isabel obeyed, walking slowly to the front of the class, boots clicking. 

"Now, Ms. Evans is very attractive woman. Please turn in a circl,e Isabel," Ms. Lord commanded. 

Isabel obeyed, confused. 

"Perfectly put together. Nice expensive clothes, flawless makeup, expertly done hair. Now, Ms. Evans is a perfect example of the sin of pride. Ms. Evans keeps her apperance orderly because she is proud of her beauty. You may sit down, Isabel." 

Isabel nodded, somewhat miffed, and slowly walked back to her seat. 

"We are all guilty of a sin because every single one factors into our daily lives. If you've ever been guilty of jealousy over how someone like Ms. Evans looks, or perhaps your boyfriend is flirting with another girl, or someone is richer than you, you're guilty of Envy. If you ever yell at someone because they infuriate you that would be anger, if you've ever eaten a little too much at the local diner that would be gluttony, if you've ever snuck off to the secret place to make out with you boyfriend or girlfriend that's lust, if you've ever skipped a chore or a class simply because you didn't feel like doing it that would be Sloth or Accidie. If you've ever been possessive of something or someone that's greed or Avarice. See we're all guilty of a sin at one time or another which is exactly why I'm encouraging you to pick up a copy of William Staffords book Disorderly Loves: Healing the Seven Deadly Sins." 

"This is a load of crap," Michael muttered to Maria, who was sitting half on his lap, half on the chair they both occupied. She smirked. 

"Mr. Guerin," Ms. Lord smiled at the spikey haired young man. "Did you say something?" 

Michael shrugged. "I said this is a load of crap," he repeated slowly. Maria elbowed him in the ribs shifting uncomfortably on his lap at Ms. Lord's raised eyebrow. 

"So you mean too tell me that you're not guilty of any of the sins yourself?" Ms. Lord asked. 

"Nope, not a one," Michael said and Maria laughed. He shot her a murderous look and she tried to stifle it. 

"I believe Ms. DeLuca doesn't agree," Ms. Lord smiled. "Well , Ms. DeLuca, what sins do you believe Michael is guilty of?" 

"All of them actually," Maria grinned and Michael poked her in the ribs, agitated. Ms. Lord smiled at the couple's playful antics. Ah, young love. 

"So, Mr. Guerin, you don't think you're lazy?" Ms. Lord asked. "I believe your attendance and academic records would say otherwise." 

"I don't believe in that deadly sin stuff anyway," Michael shrugged. "If we're all guilty of them then are we all going to hell?" 

"I would rather not get into a discussion about heaven or hell, Mr. Guerin. I am here to discuss the sins, and why liturature is so fascinated with them." 

"Then discuss on," he smiled at her. "Don't let me hold you up." 

"Mr. Guerin, would you and Ms. DeLuca please come up here?" Ms. Lord asked. 

Maria gulped. "See what you did this time," she hissed angrily. 

"Me? If you had just kept your big mouth shut.." Michael countered back. 

"My big mouth? It was your big mouth that called her attention to us in the first place..." As they continued the banter they slowly made their way through the very large crowd to the front of the room. Ms. Lord resisted the urge to laugh. How Maria DeLuca and Michael Guerin had ever hooked up in the first place was a mystery to her, but she'd have to be crazy to say she didn't enjoy seeing them together. 

"Okay, Maria, I want you to stand here," she motioned to her left. "Michael, stand next to her and face the class." Maria did so, nervously looking at the amused students in the large classroom. Michael, as usual, didn't seem to care. She clutched his hand to keep her own from shaking. 

"Relax," he commanded, it didn't do any good. 

"Okay, Ms. DeLuca, please list all the sins you're guilty of," Ms. Lord asked. 

"Well...um, let's see..." Maria said, looking at the list of sins Ms. Lord had written on the board. "I guess pride…um, I get jealous of people sometimes so envy...I don't like to do chores so I guess that would be the Accidie one..." Her voice went down to a barely audible whisper, "Lust…" A few titters from the more predicatble members of the class and then she continued, "I get angry mostly at him-" she shrugged. "That's it I guess." 

"Gluttony," Michael cut in and Maria looked at him, outraged. Said predicatble members of the class tittered again.

"EXCUSE me?" she said angrily. 

Michael shrugged. "You eat a lot of ice cream sometimes," Michael said. More titters. 

"Two words, Michael. Cut. Off." Maria hissed. Michael gulped and looked straight ahead. Yet more titters from those damned predictable students. 

"Moving on," Ms. Lord cut in. "Now, Ms. DeLuca, please list the sins Michael is guilty of and why." 

"Well, this should be easy," she muttered. "Well, he's ALWAYS angry about something so definitely that one." 

Michael cut in. "I AM NOT," he snapped. 

Maria gave the class a "See, What Did I Tell You?" look and went on. 

"He loves that hair of his so there's Pride." 

Michael cut in again. "It's NICE hair," he said. 

"Oh please, you look like someone pushed your head through a weedwhacker," she snapped and went on. 

"He's always eating so there's the Gluttony." 

Michael cut in for a third time. "I like food," he protested. 

Maria patted his stomach. "We noticed. Now anyway," she moved on. " He's your typical guy so of course he's guilty of Lust." 

"Yeah! Lust rules!" A guy from the back called out and the collective female body rolled their eyes. 

"He's jealous of pretty much everyone." 

Michael cut in again. "Now that's a lie," he retorted. "Like you're not." 

"I already said I was," Maria deadpanned. 

"Oh yeah…" Michael shrugged. 

"Moving on.." Ms. Lord said , exasperated. 

"Oh yeah! Well, he refuses to do anything while his hockey games are on so there's the Accidie one, he's totally lazy," she said, rolling her eyes. 

"I do more then you do," Michael pouted. 

Maria gave the class a "Yeah Right" look and went on. 

"And he's totally possessive. Like just the other day he wouldn't even let me TALK to the new guy from bio class-" 

Michael cut in. "He has a criminal record!" he protested. 

"So do you!" Maria countered. 

"That's besides the point!" Michael said sullenly. 

"So what you're saying is that both of you are guilty of all of them?" Ms. Lord asked. 

"I guess.." Maria shrugged. 

"How about you do a little experiment for me, for a little extra credit?" Ms. Lord asked. Maria's eyes lit up. For some reason failing English this semester wasn't on her Top Ten List. 

"Sure," Maria said. 

"No Way," Michael said at the same time. 

"Yes," Maria pinched his arm. 

"OW! Fine okay whatever," he muttered. 

"If you can go one week without commiting one of the seven deadly sins I will give you two 100 test grades as extra credit." 

Maria smirked. "Done," she shook Ms. Lord's hand. 

"Now remember. This is by the honor system. And you're going to have to write a paper on how you avoided them," Ms. Lord was saying. 

"Fine, can do, whatever," Michael muttered. 

Ms. Lord smiled. They didn't have a snowball's chance in hell. 

*** 

"Michael I HAVE to get that extra credit," Maria was pacing now. Michael sat on his couch flipping through the the entire 5 channels he got on his small TV. "I mean if I don't pass that class my mom is going to kill me and you know what THAT means, Mr." She began counting them off on her fingers. "No after school makeout sessions, no more Saturday night makeout sessions, no more Friday night makeout sessions on the movie..." She paused. "Is this really all we do?" 

Michael nodded. 

"That is sooo sad." 

"Will you chill second?" Michael asked. "This is not that big a deal." 

"NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!" Maria yelled. "This coming from a boy whose current GPA is a NEGATIVE numeral?" 

Michael shrugged. "Well, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me…" he trailed off. 

"Well it is to m,e Michael." Suddenly inspiration struck. "You're going to help me." 

Michael looked at her, confused. She had that evil glint in her eyes. Uh Oh…time to skedaddle. 

"Uh..okay," he said. Maria was on the couch now, slinking towards him on all fours. "You're scaring me." 

"Michael, you can use your powers to keep from accidentally doing any of the sins. Like an aversion thing, in my head." She was still slinking towards him. 

Michael scrambled away. "Ohhh no," Michael said, shaking his head as he backed away. "No way, Maria. Then if something goes wrong you'll blame me. No way. Nope. Not gonna happen." 

She kept slinking towards him. Michael gulped. "No. No. No. No. No. No." 

*** 

"You're the best Michael!" She kissed him. Michael sighed. How this small slip of a girl had coerced him into using his wacky powers he didn't know. 

"Crap," Maria looked at her watch. "I'm late, baby. Gotta jet. Are you gonna drop by later?" she asked, picking up her bag. 

"Yeah sure. I'll stop by in a little bit, kay?" he said. 

"Promise?" she said, smirking. 

"Cross my heart," he said solemnly, making a criss cross motion over his chest. She grinned and leaned up, kissing him. 

"Bye babe!" And she practically skipped out the door. 

"Every single time…" He sighed and fell onto the couch. 

*** 

The diner was crowded as usual. Maria had been on her feet all night and dear god it was time for a break. Liz smiled walking behind the counter, clipping the bill to the rack for Jose. "How's the anti-sinning coming along?" Liz asked. 

"Huh?" Maria looked up. "What?" 

"You haven't commited any deadly sins lately have you? Gluttony and all that..." There was a flash. Well, to Maria there was, and she fell backwards. Liz looked at her, confused. 

"You okay?" Liz asked. 

Maria shook it off. "Yeah, klutz attack," she said weakly. She made her way to the back room. 

"Hey Liz do we have any of those little truffle things?" Maria called from the back. 

"Yeah, in the yellow bin!" Liz called from the counter where she was currently filling up glasses with Dr. Pepper. 

"Yes! Score." She practically ripped the plastic cover off the yellow bin and grabbed a little cake. She bit into it and moaned in ecstasy. "Oh, that's good…that's really good. Ooh, hey, donuts!" She reached for those too, truffle in one hand, donut in the other, she began to shove them into her mouth. "Yummy. Oh, this is excellent. Ooohhh, Hershey's.." She reached for a hidden Hershey's bar. "I miss chocolate.." She began to eat all three items. Donuts, truffles, choclate and whatever else she could find disappeared into her mouth. 

She sniffed, and sniffed again. "Pizza…" Licking her fingers and not bothering to clean up the mess, she began to walk to the kitchen, sniffing the entire way. "Jose, is that pizza I smell?" 

Jose nodded, taking a recently baked pizza out of the oven. 

Maria looked around the kitchen in awe. She had no idea food could look so good. "Hey Jose, Mr. Parker's upstairs. He needs to talk to you…something about a raise." 

Jose's eyes lit up and he bolted out the door. Maria licked her lips. "Mine," she grinned and grabbed the entire pizza, not bothering to cut a slice out of it. She just bit into the side of it. In minutes it was gone. 

"Maria!" Liz said, dropping the stack of plates. Luckily gravity was on her side, only the bottom one broke. 

"Wa?" Maria turned around, her mouth full. Pizza sauce staining her chin. 

"What are you doing?" Liz asked, startled. 

"Unch reak," Maria said, biting into a stray hotdog. 

"It's 8:00," Liz said, deadpan. 

Maria shrugged. "Dinner break," she said. "Oooh fries," she almost reached into the vat of boiling grease but Liz stopped her just in time. 

"No. Bad Maria," Liz scolded. "Now go steal Michael's ALREADY COOKED fries okay?" 

Maria's eyes lit up. "Fries…" She bolted out of the kitchen as well. Liz looked around the kitchen, confused. First the powdered donut mess outside now this? 

*** 

Michael, Max, and Isabel were sitting at their usual booth. All enjoying their usual dinners. Maria sauntered up. 

"Hey!" She kissed Michael cheek and slid into the booth next to him. "Fries!" She grabbed them, not bothering to ask. Michael reared back, startled and scared that he might get bitten or something. He watched as his girlfriend began shoving fries into her mouth one after another. 

"Drink," Maria said, reaching for Max's. Michael slid his cherry soda over to he,r leaning away from her, scared. 

"Are you okay?" Michael asked. Maria nodded, grabbing Michael's halfeaten burger. 

"Good," Maria said, finishing it off in record time. "Why?" 

"It's just that you've gone Cro-Magnom all of a sudden…" Michael said. 

"Hungry," Maria said, grabbing a handful of fries off a stunned Isabel's plate. Michael shrugged at his two shocked friends helplessly. 

"Drink," she repeated. having finished off Michael's. So Michael slid her Max's. 

"Work..." Maria got up. "Thanks." She skipped off, snagging a handful of fries from a shocked customer's plate as she went. 

"Well, that was…" Isabel trailed off at a loss for words. 

"Weird?" Max offered. 

"Yeah that's it…weird," Isabel looked at Michael. Michael shrugged again. 

"Maria! Don't eat that!" they heard Liz screech. "Oh gross…that was like a year old..." 

"Then what was it doing in there?" a customer yelled. 

"Whoopsie..." 

*** 

"How can one girl eat that much?" Liz asked, looking at the girl who was currently devouring a box of Krispy Kremes. They all shook their heads. 

"Maybe she's hungry?" Michael protested weakly. 

"I thought the entire point of Ms. Lord's extra credit experiment was to NOT commit deadly sins," Isabel asked. 

"What?" Max asked, confused. They were at Michael's apartment now. The diner had been declared a non safe zone. They had picked her up a couple of boxes of donuts on the way though to spare Michael's meager food supply. 

"Well, look at her. She's doing the gluttony thing," Isabel said, motioning to the girl. Again Maria saw a flash and then she looked at the donuts. 

"I think I'm going to puke..." She bolted to the bathroom. 

"Aww, man," Michael groaned. "I just cleaned in there!" 

Part 2: Lust 

*** 

Lust: missing the mark of loving as god loves…the expression of sin though human sexual life. 

*** 

"So you're okay now?" Liz asked the next day after school. 

"Yeah totally fine, why wouldn't I be?" Maria asked, grinning. "What, I can't go on a food binge?" Liz raised an eyebrow. 

"Okay, so it was a little more then a food binge…" Maria trailed off, hoisting her book bag up onto her shoulder. 

"So are you heading to Michael's ?" Liz asked, stopping by her locker for a second. Somehow showing up to Max's for a Biology study session without a Bio book didn't sound like a good idea. Not that they would use it anyway… 

"Yep, hopefully I managed to hide the remote well enough this morning when I picked him up for school," she sighed. "I really don't feel like watching any kind of ESPN related activity this afternoon." 

"Just don't get two strikes on your anti-sin list," Liz warned. 

"What sin could I possibly break at Michael's?" Maria asked, confused. Blonde moment. 

Liz looked at her. "I'm kinda hoping the one you'd be most guilty of breaking at Michael's is Lust, darling. If not you and him have some serious relationship problems..." 

There was a flash and Maria fell back against the locker. 

"You okay?" Liz asked, closing her own locker. 

"Yeah fine, my heel got stuck." She looked down at her shoes angrily. 

"Well, just don't do anything I wouldn't," Liz warned, smiling as she walked away. "You want that extra credit right?" 

"Not really..." Maria muttered under her breath. "Liz, I really have to go before Michael discovers the stray remote in his fridge..." She bolted, racing down the hall full speed. And in heels. Look, a new Olympic sport. She skidded to a halt before she went crashing into the door and opened it calmly, all before spazzing out again and racing towards the student parking lot. 

"She is so weird.." Liz muttered, turning around. "Now how am I supposed to get home?" 

*** 

"Seen it." Click. 

"Gross...Ricky Lake..." Click. 

"Oprah? Please." Click. 

"Hey, Pokemon!" Michael settled down onto the couch, setting the remote onto the coffee table. How he had managed to put it in the fridge he didn't know. 

"Gotta get Velcro..." he muttered as he watched the wonderful world of anime unfold on his small screen. He was so absorbed with the tale of Ash and his Pokemon adventures he didn't notice when the lights flickered out. The power in this building wasn't the greatest anyway. He also didn't notice the door slowly closing. 

"No! Metapod!" Michael yelled at the TV. "Oh good..." he calmed down and settled back down onto the couch. 

"Oh, Michael..." He jumped a thousand feet at the sultry voice. His first impulse was to grab the remote. So he did. His second was to shut off the TV to avoid furthering embarrassing himself and wounding his fragile male ego. So he did. Too bad that it sent the rest of the room into darkness. He reached for the light switch but a hand caught his. 

"Bad boy," his captor whispered in his ear. 

He gulped. "What?" he asked. 

"I like that," the voice whispered. 

"Maria?" he asked. She wasn't wearing much, this he could tell. Her arms were bare, and her legs didn't feel that much different. 

"Hi," the whisper came again. 

"Are you sick or something?" he asked. 

"Never felt better," she whispered and then she attacked. Pouncing on him, she pushed him onto the ground, kissing him hard. He landed with a loud thump and a "Oooff". She was all over him. Tearing at his clothes kissing him wherever she could reach. 

"Whoa! What the hell," he leapt up, startled. "Mari,a what's gotten into you…I'm not saying it's a bad thing…but..." He looked at her, confused. 

Or rather, where he thought she was. Too bad he was wrong. She grabbed him from behind. Kissing his neck and clutching at his waist. His shirt was torn from the collar to the sleeve, and hair was messier then usual and lipstick covered his face. Not that he could see in the room's darkened state. She was all over him again. What was she wearing? Was that silk? 

"Maria what are you...OW!" his leg hit the table as she pushed him onto the couch. "Damn you're strong." He muttered. 

She climbed onto his lap. "Come on, Michael. You know you want to." She was working on his shirt again. Searching for buttons that weren't there. Ripping the cloth. 

"Dammi,t Maria, that was my favorite shirt," Michael snapped when he found himself without one. 

"I'll buy you a new one," she said, moving her lips down to his chest. 

Michael groaned. "That feels nice..." he said. "Wait! What are you doing!" 

"Trying to get your pants off, silly," she said, working on the belt buckle. 

"Wha? Why? Who?" Michael scrambled away again, tripping on the coffee table. 

"For someone so yummy you're not very coordinated..." Maria noted. 

"It's kinda hard to navigate when you're in a pitch black room with a girl draping herself all over you," Michael snapped. 

"What you don't want me to be draped on you?" Maria asked. 

"It's not that I don't want you to be draped on me..it's that you SHOULDN'T be," he said. "Maria, we've only been dating for.." he began counting on his fingers. "Two weeks." 

"What, you don't like to go fast?" she asked. "Cause I can go slow, Michael. Real slow." She said seductively. 

Michael gulped. She reached for him, raking her nails down his chest. He groaned again and then remembered himself. "No! No this isn't right," he backed up again. 

"Not like this, Maria. I don't know what's gotten into you but I can't. Not this soon," he sighed. "Even though I REALLY want to," he whined. 

"So I'm not attractive enough for you, Michael? I'm not pretty enough!" Maria was yelling now. 

"No Maria it's not like that-" 

Maria cut him off. "So you don't find me attractive! Well, fine! I'll find someone who does!" She ran to the door, tripping momentarily on Michael's ripped shirt. 

"Wait, Maria!" Michael reached out for her in the dark but found the lamp instead. She slammed the door behind her. "I don't think going out in those clothes is even LEGAL!" 

*** 

"Stupid truck," Kyle Valenti smacked the dashboard of the his pickup truck angrily. He smacked it again, trying to get the engine started, but to no avail. His dad was supposed to take the truck to the mechanics but had he? Nope. That was dear old dad for you. Say you'll do one thing and don't. Not that Kyle cared of course. Having an absentee father was great, that is if your truck's life didn't depend on it. He heard the door open slowly. He whirled on his seat and his mouth dropped open. He didn't even know they made dresses like that. 

"Hi, Kyle..." The voice was sexy, seductive. 

Kyle gulped. "Hey, Maria," Kyle said, trying not to squeak. "How's it going?" 

"It's going good. Better now," she said, climbing into the truck and closing the door behind her. 

"So…how's school?" He shifted in his seat, keeping his eyes on her face. 'Focus on the face, Kyle,' he was saying to himelf. 'The face. Legs. Face! Dammit Face! Where the heck did she get THOSE?' 

"I don't want to talk about school." She was inching towards him. 

"Somehow I figured that," Kyle gulped. "So how are things with you and MICHAEL." He made sure to stress the last noun. "Things are going good with you and MICHAEL, right? You do remember MICHAEL, don't you? Tall guy? Muscular? Spikey head? MICHAEL." 

"I don't wanna talk about Michael either." She was almost at him. 

"I figured that too." He gulped again, struggling for air. 

"I don't wanna talk at all," she said, laying a hand on his chest. "I wanna play." 

"You know what game's a good game? Poker! We should play poker!" Kyle said. Maria shook her head. Her fingers danced up his chest, playing idly with the hair that gathered at the nape of his neck. She trailed her fingernails along his collar bone. 

Kyle sighed. "Michael's going to kill me…" he muttered, and Maria's lips lowered to his. "God, lust sucks..." he said, right before they reached him. There was a flash and Maria blinked. 

"OH MY GOD!!" She practically flew to the other side of the car. "What the hell!" She was hyperventilating. She couldn't breathe. "Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." 

"You keep saying that!" Kyle said, staring straight ahead, ramrod straight. No pun intended. 

"Oh my GOD!" she yelled. "I almost...and I'm wearing...and I…" It was another bout of "Oh My God's" for a few minutes. 

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!" Kyle yelled angrily. 

"That is so gross! I almost kissed you!!" Maria said. 

"Well, it wasn't pleasant for me either!" Kyle hpphmed, pouting. 

"Oh gross. Oh gross…" she sighed. "And what am I wearing?" 

"I was wondering that myself..." Kyle said. 

"I have to go." She opened the door to his truck. "Oh gross. Gross. Gross. Gross." 

"Maria! I don't think walking around in that outfit is even-" The door to his truck slammed. "Legal..." 

*** 

Part 3: Greed 

*** 

Avarice a.k.a Greed : covetousness; possessions by possessions…the dromation of our desire to possess material things, and by implication, sins twisting of the whole economic order. 

*** 

"Think you can work today?" Liz asked, hopping onto the counter. Maria raised an eyebrow and looked at her best friend. 

"Yeah…why wouldn't I?" Maria asked. "It is my shift, right? Cause if it's not my shift and I screwed up-" 

Liz cut in. "Again." 

Maria ignored her. 

"-then there are like sooo many things I could be doing now. Stopping by Michael's…my laundry...shopping...my laundry…movie…my laundry." 

"It's your shift," Liz smiled. "I'm just making sure you're not going to go all trippy. You know, suddenly start eating everything in sight...freaking out customers by jumping in their laps in a negligee…" Liz trailed off. 

"You HEARD about that," mortified Maria raised her hands to hide her flaming cheeks. 

"Kyle asked me if you hop into peoples cars sporting the latest in Hooker Wear EVERY Tueday." Liz paused. "Cause if so he'll make it a point to be in a car." 

Maria rolled her eyes. "I don't know what yesterday was. I just got…" she thought a minute. "An impulse." 

"An impulse?" Liz repeated skeptically. 

"Yeah, an impulse." Maria nodded. "That's about right." 

"Soooo…do you get impulses about Kyle often? Anything I should be aware of?" Liz asked. Maria swatted her. 

"Kyle was a fluke," Maria said. 

"A fluke? Maria, you walked around town in a silk teddy and high heeled shoes to find him and you call that a fluke?" Liz asked. 

"I did not! And how did you know my heels were highheeled?" Maria asked. 

"Kyle has a cut on his leg from where you kicked him scrambling out of his car," Liz grinned. Maria groaned, banging her head against the counter. 

"Just..don't get any...impulses today, okay? Dad's already freaking over the lack of donuts and pizza in the kitchen," Liz warned. 

"I said I was sorry," Maria protested. "And I offered to replace all of that food using my salary." 

"Maria, dear, your entire annual income couldn't cover the amount of food you ate the other day. I'm not sure Dad's can," Liz said. 

"I didn't eat THAT much." Liz raised an eyebrow. "I was hungry! Is that a crime!" 

"When you start stealing the food it is," Liz said. 

"I apologized! And it's not like I could give it back!" Maria thought a moment. "Not in its original form anyway..." 

Liz wrinkled her nose in disgust. "I have to get to work. Remember: no food…no silk nighties." Liz skipped away. 

The bell on the door jingled and the click of boots across the linoleum could be heard. Maria knew that sound. 

"Oh no..." she groaned, afraid to look up. 

"Hey Maria," Kyle Valenti leaned over the counter, winking at her. 

"Oh god…oh god..." she muttered. Dammit she was starting to sound like her mother. She furiously scrubbed at the counter. 

"Kyle," she muttered. 

"So how's it going?" Kyle asked, leaning closer. The faint scent of Cool Water cologne tickled her senses. She loved Cool Water but now she was going to be sick. 

"Good," back to monosyllable again. 

"So I was wondering," Kyle played absently with a straw dispenser. "Me. You. Friday?" 

Maria dropped the rag she had been holding, forgetting about the counter. "W-W-" Maria couldn't speak. 

"You don't have to say anything right now, I'll catch up with you tomorrow at lunch, okay?" 

Maria nodded slowly, still not able to find her voice. Kyle winked at her again. 

"I. Think. I. Am. Going. To. Be. Sick." Maria said, gagging. 

Liz reached for her friend. "It's okay, Maria, breathe. Deep breaths," Liz said, coaching her friend. "1...2…3…deep breath…" Liz said. "Put your head between your legs…" 

"What do I tell him! What could I possibly tell him after I…I…I..." She couldn't finish the sentence. 

"Tried to seduce him?" Liz offered. Maria glared at her. "Truth hurts." 

"I am going to work…" Maria said, shuddering in revulsion. 

"So I guess the Kyle thing didn't work out…" Liz asked. 

Maria ignored her, going over to the register where a nice young couple and their daughter, who was busy trying desperately to tear up as many alien pictures as possible in her short stay at the Crashdown. 

"Bridgett, stop it," the girl's mother said. 

"I want a alieum!" The girl pouted, stomping her feet. 

"You have one," the kid's father pointed out. And sure enough in the girl's hands was clutched a massive alien doll Maria recognized as one of her mother's creations. Maria took the man's bill. 

"That's be $22.67 sir," she smiled. 

"Mine," the girl, who was in her mother's arms, reached into the register. 

"No! Bridgett!! Put that back!" her mother scolded. "I'm sorry about this, really I am." 

"Mine," the girl repeated. 

"Don't be greedy Bridgett." 

There was a flash and Maria fell backwards against the wall. "Damned gum," Maria muttered. 

"Mommy! She said a no-no word," the girl was saying. "Damned.Damned. Damned. Damned. Damned," The girl sang. The girl's mother had managed to get the money away from the girl, and was working to get the girl to shut up. 

"Damned. Damned. Damned…" 

Maria reached for the girl's ribbon. "Mine," Maria said, smirking. 

Bridgett began to scream. "She took my damned ribbon! Mommy, the damned girl took my ribbon!" 

"Bridgett, stop saying that," the woman scolded. "We'll get you a new ribbon, okay? Now let's go." 

"Mine," Maria repeated. 

"No!!! It's my damned ribbon!" the girl was yelling. 

"We're really sorry about this. Maybe now she'll learn her lesson…" the woman was saying. Maria nodded, not really paying attention. The man handed her a twenty and a five. 

"Mine," Maria said, grinning. She stuffed the bills into her apron. She turned away from the man, walking back to the counter. 

"Hey!! What about our change?" the man yelled angrily. 

"Mine!" Maria said, stomping her foot. 

"She took Daddy's damned money!" the girl was laughing now. "Damned meanie girl!" 

Liz ran over. "I'm sorry about that, sir...She's on…medication..." Liz said, smiling apologetically as she handed the man his change. "Cute daughter." The man glared at Liz and they stormed out. 

"Damned resturant," the girl said before the doors closed behind her. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Liz hissed, pulling her friend into the back. "Where did you put that money?" 

Maria reached up, plucking an alien shaped pen from behind Liz's ear. "Hey this is cute..." Maria said, grinning. "Mine," she said, defensively hugging it to her chest like any minute someone would steal it. 

"Maria, what the heck was that out there? I mean first you steal that poor little girl's ribbon, then you take that man's money…" Liz realized Maria wasn't paying the least bit of attention to her. Instead she was taking decorations off the lounge's wall and sticking them in her pocket. 

"What has gotten into you?" Liz asked, confused. 

"Nothing, why would you think that?" Maria asked. 

"Maria, I want you to take the night off, okay?" Liz said slowly, grabbing her friend's shoulders. "Go home and get some rest okay?" 

"Okay," Maria nodded. "Great! Thanks Liz!" She practically skipped out of the diner. 

"Sometimes I think she does this on purpose…" 

*** 

The mall was packed when Maria got there. Which was odd for a Wednesday but little matter. She had the night off and 25 dollars in her pocket, not to mention her wallet carried the remains of her last paycheck. Time for a customer funded shopping spree. Well, not a spree really because what could you buy with 25 bucks? A shirt and a soda? Maybe not even that if you stopped by American Eagle or the Gap or anyone of those preppy expensive places. She sighed. Dammit, it sucked to be poor. Well, might as well get something. 

"Ohhh pretty!" The bright iridescent green skirt was so her. She grinned. "Mine!" 

Skipping into the store, she grabbed the skirt off the rack. Grabbing the pricetag, she gasped. "A hundred dollars! What the hell kind of store is this!" She looked at the sign. "Saks...oh…well, there goes that idea," she muttered, pouting. 

She looked around. There wasn't one of those ink thingamajiggies on the skirt, there wasn't any security camera's in sight, and no shoplifting detectors in sight. Hell, even security was busy enjoying the wonderful donuts the Krispy Kreme had to offer. She grinned, discreetly lifting up the flap on her bag, making sure to keep her eyes on the two clerks in the small store. Slowly she folded up the skirt, never taking her eyes off them, and then stuffed it into her messenger bag. 

"Mine," she smirked, and skipped out of the stores, heading right to the Claire's. 

"Mine," she grabbed a bandanna off the shelf, "Mine." Nice pair of earrings, "Mine." Lip gloss, "Mine." Keychain. 

One by one they disappeared into the oversized bag she had scored from a garbage can, bearing the words "Wal-Mart" in big black letters on the side of it. 

"If I'm going to shoplift, might as well look like white trash anyway..." she muttered. 

"Mine," in went a small purse. "Better buy something though." She pulled out the five and grabbed a fuzzy pen from one of the holders and skipped over to the counter. 

"That'll be 3.50," the bubble gum chewing clerk said, disinterested. Maria handed her the five and got back her change. 

"Thanks soo much," Maria grinned, looking at her watch. "Dammit, I forgot to pick up the groceries." Sighing, she looked longily at the stores. "There's always tomorrow!" 

*** 

"Potato sticks...potato sticks?" Maria looked at the list. "What the hell is a potato stick?" She perused the aisles, her mouth watering. "Yum, donuts..." She reached for the box and opened it, perusing the aisles while munching on the chocolaty goodness. 

"Potato Sticks!" Triumphant she reached for the last box of Lay's Potato sticks. Too bad she wasn't quick enough. The woman next to her grabbed it first, her little boy cheering his mother on. 

"Hey!" Maria yelled angrily. "I was getting that!" 

The woman grinned triumphantly. "Too slow, blondie," she grinned. 

"Oh no. You did not just do that," Maria said in disbelief. "I don't think so, bitch." She grabbed the box of Potato sticks. 

"Give those back!" the woman grunted, yanking them towards her. 

"MINE!" Maria yelled, putting all her weight into it. 

"Go mom! Jerry! Jerry!" the kid cheered. 

The woman reached for Maria's hair. Maria screamed. And dug her nails into the woman's wrist. The woman grabbed the collar of Maria's shirt and pulled her into a display of Doritos. There was a loud pop as Maria landed on 3 bags and the bottoms blew out, scattering chips all over the aisle. Maria pulled the woman down with her, knocking the poor woman into a display of salsa con queso, knocking the glass containers to the floor where they shattered, scattering cheese dip all over the aisle. The woman screamed as the box of potato sticks ripped in half, scattering the silver bags all over the aisles. 

"You little brat!" The woman reached again for Maria's hair, but Maria was too fast for her. 

She ducked, barreling into the woman football style and shoving her into the soda shelf. Hundreds of six packs fell bursting the minute they hit the floor and spraying soda everywhere. Maria was soaked, salsa con queso all over her butt and Dorito bits stuck in her hair. 

The woman growled. "You can have the damned things," she muttered, grabbing her son's hand and trying to walk away with as much dignity as possible. That wasn't easy with salsa bits on your jeans, soda soaking your hair and Dorito bits stuck in various places. The kid grinned, picking up a Dorito off the floor. 

"That was way cool," he grinned. 

Maria sighed, falling back against the shelves. 

"Clean up aisle 7…" 

*** 

"Maria DELUCA!!!" Maria winced. Somehow Sheriff Valenti's office kept getting smaller and smaller each time she visited it. Her mother was pacing angrily before her, the Sheriff sitting at his chair, his legs propped up on his desk watching the display, amused. Maria's Walmart bag sat beside her with her stolen purchases, yet to be discovered by the Sheriff, as well as her messenger bag with the pilfered skirt. 

"I cannot believe that you would start a fight in a grocery store over a box of POTATO STICKS!" Amy Deluca was rambling. "This is coming straight out of your allowance, young lady. And your paycheck," Maria picked up a pretty gold pen off the Sherriff's desk. 

"Mine," she muttered, sticking it in her pocket. Luckily the Sheriff didn't notice, so engrossed was he with the woman before him, who was currently ranting about the cost of the 20 bags of Dorito's, the 17 bottles of salsa, the 34 six packs of various brands of soda, the box of Potato Sticks, and the box of donuts found half eaten at the scene of the crime. Maria shrugged, looking around the office, not finding anything of interest. 

"And you are GROUNDED young lady. You are lucky that that young woman didn't press charges-" 

Maria interrupted. "It was her fault," she piped up. 

"You grabbed the box of Potato Sticks first!" Amy said, outraged. 

"She pulled my hair!" 

"You dug your nails into her arm. You drew BLOOD, Maria," Amy said. 

"Well so did she," Maria pouted, pointing to the small cut on her forehead from an AWOL can of Dr. Pepper. 

"I don't know what has gotten into you lately, young lady...first Mr. Parker calls me and asks me if I've been feeding you lately and then Jim's son Kyle has been filling up our answer machine with, frankly, obscene messages…" Amy was ranting again and Maria tuned her out. 

"Mom can I borrow 50 bucks?" she asked, interrupting Amy's rant. 

"Excuse me!" Amy said, shocked. "You'll be lucky if I give you LUNCH MONEY from now on, young lady." 

"Well then, FINE," Maria said, standing up. "I'll just go steal...I mean, borrow it from Liz." She gave a little hmpph and grabbed her bags, storming out. 

Amy looked after her daughter in shock. "Did she just walk out on me?" Amy asked. 

"I think she did," Jim replied, nodding. 

"I cannot believe she would do that! I mean after all I have done for her, after I have tried my hardest to be a good mother..." 

Jim sighed, leaning back once more in his chair and letting her ramble on... 

*** 

"God Maria what has gotten into you lately? I mean the thing with Kyle? The thing with the food? I mean are you feeling all right? I thought the entire point of Ms. Lord's extra credit project was to NOT commit any sins," Liz said in disbelief. "First you STEAL 25 dollars from that poor man, 25 dollars which I had to sneak into the register so that it would balance out and my dad wouldn't find out, then I hear this wild story from Krista who works that the grocery store that you got in a fight with a woman because she wouldn't give you a box of Potato Sticks?" 

"I wanted Potato Sticks," Maria said, sighing and leaning back on Liz's bed, flipping through an issue of Teen People. "Well, I'm sure I would have if I knew what they WERE…" 

"I can understand the impulses, Maria, believe me I can," Liz said. "I've experienced them first hand but this is getting a little out of control. What's next cigarettes? Marijuana? Maybe some crack? Next thing you know you'll be in the New Mexico State prison becoming special pounds with Big Bertha the seamstress..." Liz said, sitting down on the edge of her bed. 

"Who, he's hot..." Maria said, not really listening. She grabbed a pair of scissors and began cutting out the picture. 

Liz looked at her in disbelief. "God, since when did you get so greedy, Maria?" 

There was a flash and the scissors dropped. 

"Ow!! Dammit," Maria winced, putting her cut finger in her mouth. Liz looked at her like she was crazy. 

"I'm sorry Liz. I don't know what has come over me..." Maria said, looking at the half mutilated magazine. "I'll buy you a new one, okay? And I'll replace the 25 bucks...right after I pay the grocery store manager…and after I return all that stuff I took..." 

"Wait a minute, what stuff?" Liz asked. 

Deer in headlights. "Gotta book Liz…grounded..." Maria said, bolting off the bed. 

"Maria, what stuff? Maria! Maria!" 

*** 

Part 4: Anger 

*** 

Anger: wrong wrath…is the desire to destroy whatever or whomever stands in the way of one's own self seeking. 

*** 

"Maria." He shook her. "Maria." Again with the shaking. 

"What?" she mumbled, rolling over. That damned spring was in her back again. 

"It's midnight," he whispered. She shot up, knocking right into Michael, who was leaning over her. 

"Ow. Dammit," she winced, holding her head. 

"Sorry," he murmured. "Are you going to be in a lot of trouble for being here this late?" 

"No, Michael, my mother just LOVES it when I sneak out of the house to go to some strange boy's apartment and don't come home till the middle of the night. She'll be ecstatic," Maria muttered sarcastically. "Why didn't you wake me up!" 

"I was asleep too, if the eye boogers didn't tip you off," he said, sighing. 

"Michael, you always have those things in your eyes," Maria muttered. 

"I resent that," he muttered. 

"Mom's gonna kill me," she muttered. 

"Yeah well..." Michael said. "Nothing I can do about it." 

"I know," she kissed his cheek. "Now I have to go." 

"Why would she be angry anyway?" 

There was a flash and she fell back against the couch. 

"I suddenly realized I'm tired," she said. 

"Maria, you have to go home," he said, grinning. "Remember. Mother. Salyage?" 

"What, you don't want me here all of a sudden?" Maria jumped up. "What, you got some other girl coming over here? You getting sick of me being here?" 

Michael looked at her, confused. "No, actually I was more concerned about your mother being mad at you for staying here so late.." he trailed off. 

"Bastard!" she smacked his arm. 

"What'd I do? What'd I do?" He backed up so she couldn't hit him anymore. 

"You know very well what you did!" She grabbed her bag. 

"Uh...no..." Michael said. 

"That is sooo you, Michael. You even forget our FIGHTS," she stormed out. 

Michael was angry now. He stormed to the door and ripped it open. "Remember Maria! PMS is just an excuse to bitch!" he yelled down the hall. 

"Hey shut up out there I'm trying to sleep!" A door slammed and Michael sheepishly ducked back into his own apartment. 

"Ahhh man..." 

*** 

"Excuse me miss?" the pleasant old gentlemen shot a smile at Maria. She looked at him, chewing noisly on her gum. 

"Ya whadaya want?" she asked, tapping her pen impatiently on the order pad. 

"This burger's a little cold," he said. "I was wondering if you could warm it up for me if it wasn't too much trouble." 

"Well what if it IS too much trouble? Cause I got plenty of other customers that could use my services," she looked around the almost empty resturant. "Well maybe I don't, but I could be pulling in some quality veg time if I didn't have people like you complaining about the temperature of their burgers." The old man blinked her. 

Maria kept going. "I mean, how the hell am I supposed to know whether or not your damned burger is cooked or not? Stick a theremometer in the thing? Take a bite? Here," she grabbed the burger, taking a huge bite out of it. "How ya like that?" she asked, her mouth full. "What about your fries? They warm enough for ya? Let's see," she grabbed a few, shoving them into her mouth. "Seem fine ta me." 

"Well I never!" the man said, outraged. 

"Well maybe you shoulda," Maria said, walking away. "JOSE! Where's that damned milkshake?" 

"You have to make the milkshakes, Maria," Michael said from his position in the back, apron tied around his waist. 

"Who says? You? Cause last time I checked you weren't the boss of me," Maria said. "You wanna start something? Huh? Do ya? Do ya?" She looked him up and down. "I think I could take ya. Come on," she thumbed her nose, striking a Buffy pose. "Come on big boy let's go." 

Michael just looked at her. "Listen here, Rocky," he said, looking his girlfriend up and down skeptically. "You might think you're all big and bad but I don't think you wanna mess with this." 

Maria scoffed. "You? Stickboy? I can take ya easy. Hell I could take 30 of ya," she laughed. 

Michael looked hurt but then stuck out his chest. "Well come on then. Let's go. I mean...if you think you're woman enough," Michael said, smirking. 

"Oooh, I'm woman enough, but if you think you got the balls, then come on," Maria said. 

"No you have to come here," Michael countered. 

"Chicken." 

"Dork." 

"Chicken." 

"Wuss." 

"Loser." 

"Spaz." 

"Oooohhh noooo you didn't..." Maria said, looking at him in disbelief. 

"I believe I did," Michael said. 

"Freak." 

"Hold me back, Jose! Hold me back!" Michael said, going for her. Jose pulled him back with one hand, disinterested. He didn't even bother to look up from the sandwich he was making. 

"I'll fight you," Maria said. "Right after I take care of this customer." She bolted away. 

Michael grinned, triumphant. "I could have taken her," Michael said. 

Jose looked at him skeptically. 

*** 

"What do you MEAN I GOT A 95 on the test!" Maria yelled at Ms. Baxter. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THE OTHER 5 POINTS!!!!" 

"You missed number 7," Ms. Baxter flinched. "And I do not appreciate your tone, young lady." 

"Did I say I cared whether or not you appreciated my tone or not? I don't think so. Now, god dammit, I want my 5 points right the hell now before I grab you by your blue football helmet head and MAKE YOU GIVE ME THE 5 POINTS!!!" She threatened. 

"Go to the office, young lady. Threatening a teacher is a class 3 offense, punishable by out of school suspension," Ms. Baxter was yelling now too. "Now march!" 

"You gonna MAKE me?" Maria asked. "Cause I don't think you could take me. You can't weigh more then 60 pounds soaking wet with lead in your socks." 

"MARCH!!!" Ms. Agatha Baxter had never been one to raise her voic,e but she would not tolerate students speaking to her in such a manner. Didn't children these days have any manners? No. 

"YOU MARCH!" Maria said. 

The class was stunned. Had little Maria Deluca, a girl who formerly couldn't return a moldy package of Lance Peanut Butter Toastchee to the gas station because she didn't want to offend the Israeli clerk, actually developed a backbone? Would wonders never cease? 

"MS. DELUCA!!!! You have until the count of three to haul your ass to the principal's office or I will drag you there by the ridiculous hair of yours!" Ms. Baxter was standing now. Not that her 5'3" height was all the intimidating but it added to effect. 

"You're one to talk. I mean, who cuts your hair, The Lawnmower Man?" Maria asked. "Or maybe the same person who gave Courtney Cox those awful baby bangs?" 

Ms. Baxter sucked in a stunned breath. "MS. DELUCA!!!" 

"You keep saying that," Maria said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And for some reason I am no more impressed by it then I was the first time." 

"OFFICE NOW!!" 

"Just sit in your little chair and continue to NOT teach the class," Maria said, "I however have a date with the nearest Banana Rebuplic." Maria skipped out of class leaving a red faced, blue haired, fuming she-devil, and a shocked array of students who would no doubt be keeping the rumor mill at full blast. 

"Well I never!" 

*** 

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I SEE TWO! COUNT 'EM! TWO! OF THESE SHIRTS IN GREEN RIGHT THERE!" Maria was yelling. 

"Those are for the maniquins, miss," the poor cashier cringed at the spitfire in front of her. 

"Well here's what you do," Maria said calmly, looking at the girl's name tag. "Theresa, let me show you something." She put her arm around the frightened girl's shoulders and led her over to a maniquin sporting a green V-neck cashmere sweater. 

Maria violently pushed the maniquin over, breaking the poor thing's head. She then bent down calmly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, and removed the sweater. 

"Could you ring this up for me?" 

*** 

The television program had been on for a good ten minutes and so far she had remained calm. Michael sat at once end of the couch as far away from her as possible, watching his girlfriend out of the corner of his eye. Liz, Isabel, Alex, and Max watched her from different places around the small living room as well She was engrossed in the television program, totally unaware of the nervous gazes her friends were giving her. She reached for a handful of chips and everyone flinched, covering themselves and cowering in their seats. Maria looked at them, confused. 

"What's everyone's problem?" Maria asked, her voice raising in pitch. Uh-oh. Here it comes. 

"We've just noted you've been a little moody lately…" Michael said in a small voice. 

"Moody? What do you mean moody! Like all of a sudden my MOODS aren't good enough for you, Michael?" Maria was yelling now. She picked up a bowl, raising it above her head. 

"Noo!!! No!" Michael said, coming to his own defense. 

"Yeah he didn't do anything, please don't hurt him!" Liz said, frightened. 

Maria froze. 

"Yeah, he's just a kid!" Max said. 

"All he was saying was that you've been a little angrier then usual." 

There was a flash and the bowl dropped, hitting Michael's calf. He yelped and grabbed his leg, moaning in pain. 

"So what are we watching?" Maria asked, sitting down calmly. They looked at her like she was insane. 

"My leg...I think it's broke..." Michael was moaning now. 

Maria looked at him, concerned. "Aw, poor baby. Maybe you should be more careful with the bowls from now on." 

"ME??? ME??" Isabel sshhed him, still a little wary. 

"Don't tease the animals..." Liz whispered. 

"Hey! Gilligans Island! I love this show!" 

*** 

Part 5: Envy 

*** 

Envy: hating the good because it is good… malice; resenting that someone else should enjoy a good we want for ourselves. It is a refusal to accept one's own finite gifts and to rejoice in those. 

*** 

"So you're okay now?" Isabel asked. She had been the third person to ask Maria that in three days. Maybe something really was wrong with her. But Liz said that impulses were a good thing didn't she? So what if Maria's impulses were a little…odd. 

"Yeah, fine, dandy, whatever, " Maria said, trying her best to ignore the blonde. 

"Well that's good," Isabel said. "Don't want you trying to kill ME with any bowls." 

"Well you're working you way up to that point, Iz," Maria muttered, putting her bio book into her locker. Isabel actually looked scared for a moment. Maybe these impulses weren't such a bad thing after all. 

"So why HAVE you been acting so whacked lately?" Isabel held up her hands defensively. "Just wondering." 

"I don't know," Maria sighed. "I just…get these impulses." 

"Impulses? Well that's understandable," Isabel said, nodding. "I mean, I get the impulse to bash Michael over the head with things all the TIME..." she said. "And Kyle...I mean I'd accost him in his truck ANYTIME." 

Maria raised an eyebrow and Isabel blushed. "Was that out loud? Silly me..." 

"ANYWAY," Maria said, shuddering momentarily. "As interesting as this convo is, Isabel, I really must be going." 

"Oh I'll go with you, Max just ditched me for Liz so I don't have a ride," Isabel said, following her. 

"Lucky me…" Maria muttered. 

Isabel didn't notice her friend's less then enthused response. She was too busy watching a leggy brunette walk across the parking lot towards a rather hot guy on a motorcycle. 

"Yuck, Stacy Sheehan," Isabel muttered. "Those legs that hair...I am like...so envious." 

There was a flash and Maria fell against a rather nice Jeep Wrangler. Isabel looked at her friend. 

"Rock," Maria offered feebly and continued walking. "Why do you care about Stacey? I mean you're way prettier then her." 

Isabel smiled. "You really think so?" They had reached Maria's car by now. 

Maria took out her key. "Yeah, I mean you have everything. Great hair, great body, great clothes," as Maria said each great she jammed the key into the lock, her teeth clenched. 

"Are you okay?" Isabel asked. 

"Yeah, fine. Sure. Whatever. Why wouldn't I be?" Maria asked quickly, finally getting the key to stay in the lock. 

"You just seem kinda-" 

Maria whirled on her, startling her. "What? Spit it out." 

Isabel gulped. "Nothing. Never mind," she said quickly. "Nice clip." She said, pointing to Maria's hair clip. 

"Well, it'll never be as nice as YOURS, Isabel." Maria gave her a fake smile and yanked the door open, accidentally smashing the mirror of the nice Wrangler. 

"Ahhh hell," Maria muttered. "I don't suppose anything like this would ever happen to YOU." 

"Actually it hasn't yet," Isabel said, wary. 

Maria looked at the broken mirror."Think we should leave a note?" 

*** 

"Maria! Order up," Michael called. "Hurry up it's been sitting here for like 10 minutes." Michael said. 

"Oh I'm SO sorry, Michael. I only wish I could as speedy as LIZ over there. I mean god, why don't you just go out with her?" Maria grabbed the plates, putting them on a tray and storming away before Michael could say anything else. 

He looked after her, confused. "Weirder and weirder as this goes on..." he muttered, reaching for the pepper. Jose just shrugged. "You're not one for conversation, are you?" 

"Hey Maria! Can you go take care of their bill for me?" Liz asked her friend across the diner, motioning to the couple at the register. She herself was busy trying to fill orders. 

"Ahh, little Ms. Perfect actually fall BEHIND? That's a first," Maria said, whirling and stalking over to the register. 

"Hi, hope you enjoyed the food. That'll be 15 bucks even," Maria said with clenched teeth, jerking open the register. 

"The food was great. You know this place is just so cute," the woman said, looking around. 

"Yeah but I'm sure it's NOTHING like the ones you have back home, HUH?" Maria took the man's money. "Have a nice day." She whirled away. 

"What is your problem?" Michael asked, pulling her into the back room. "First Isabel tells me you freaked out in the parking lot, now you're being the uber-bitch to Liz?" 

"That's so cute, Michael." She pinched his cheeks. "Coming to their defenses and all that. Why don't you see if one of them is available Saturday night to go to the movies?" 

"I thought me and you were going to go see Final Destination?" Michael asked. 

"Well, since you seem so quick to defend Ms. America and Ms. Perfect I just thought that I might make other plans…with Kyle." Maria said, shrugging. 

"Valenti? You're going to make plans with Valenti?" Michael asked in disbelief. "What the hell has gotten into you lately?" 

"Why don't you ask ISABEL? You two seem awfully close lately." She whirled away. 

Michael grabbed her again. "Wait a second are you?" Michael grinned. "Dare I say it? Maria DeLuca, are you JEALOUS?" 

Maria huffed. "I most certainly AM NOT," Maria said, glaring. "And if I was it certainly would be over the Silicon princess and the GPA Queen." She jerked away from him. "You and your HAIR." She growled and walked away. 

Michael grinned. "She's jealous," Michael laughed. "Gotta love that." 

*** 

"Hey Kyle," Maria smiled at the handsome guy, who smiled back. She leaned over, letting the low neckline of her dress fall open just a tad. 

"Whatcha doin?" she asked innocently. 

"Fixing this damned thing," Kyle said, wiping oil off of his hands. 

"When will you be finished?" she asked. "Cause I thought I might take you up on your offer?" 

Kyle blinked in surprise. "Really?" He winced as his voice squeaked. 

Maria nodded. "You bet," she said, grinning. "How about we go see a movie?" 

"Sure," he said, nodding vigorously. "Which one?" 

"Final Destination? I hear it's pretty good," Maria said, shrugging. 

"That'd be great, I mean, just let me change okay?" Kyle asked. 

Maria nodded. "You still have the Mustang?" 

Kyle nodded. 

"Then we'll take that. I'll just wait for you out here okay?" 

Kyle nodded, practically skipping towards the door of his house. 

Maria looked to the heavens. "The things I do…" She glared at no one in particular. "But I'll be damned if I let Michael Guerrin show ME up when it comes to dating. So what if I'm not as smart as Liz Parker the Science Wonder and Isabel Evans a.k.a Ms. McPherson. I can still be desirable and I can still get a date." She looked at the door. "Too bad it's with Stalker boy..." she growled. "Michael and his hair…" She thought a second. "Kyle and his car…" 

*** 

The theater was packed. Being the only one in town that actually played movies made within the last few months, and being the only other hangout in town besides the Crash Down, it was expected to be on a Saturday night. Michael Guerin waited patiently outside the theater for his girlfriend, hands shoved in the pockets of his new leather blazer, a gift to himself celebrating his first paycheck, and wearing his trademark scowl. He didn't even notice as the Mustang pulled up to the curb right outside the theater. Nor did he notice when Kyle Valenti stepped out, dressed in typical cowboy fashion. He didn't notice when Kyle walked around to the passenger side and opened the door in very un-Kyle like fashion. This was what caught his attention: the stunning legs of a woman emerging from the car. Very familiar legs. 

"Maria?" She wasn't even out of the car yet and he recognized her. Damn was he good. 

She looked up, feigning surprise. "I didn't know you were going to be here tonigh,t Michael," she said innocently. "Silly me." She grabbed Kyle's arm. "Hope you enjoy the movie." 

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa," Michael said, grabbing his girlfriend by the arm. "What the hell is going on here?" 

Maria tried to look confused. "What do you mean?" she asked. 

"You make a date with me and go with Valenti instead?" Michael asked. 

"You made a date with Guerin?" Kyle asked. 

"What is WITH guys and LAST NAMES?" Maria asked. "KYLE, this is MICHAEL. MICHAEL, this is KYLE." She said, sighing. 

"Listen here, DeLuca-" Michael began. 

But Maria cut him off. "I TOLD you that you should take Ms. Spandex or the Science Fair Queen out tonight, remember?" 

"I didn't think you were SERIOUS. You say stuff that doesn't make sense all the time…" That was so the wrong thing to say. He didn't see the fist until it flew at his face, and not from who he expected it to be. 

He looked in surprise at his girlfriend. 

"OW!!! OW! OW!!" she yelped, jumping around in a strange parody of an Indian dance, clutching her reddening fist. 

Michael rubbed his jaw. "Dammit Maria. What did I TELL you about doing that..." he muttered. "This is gonna sting in the morning..." 

"Great form…" Kyle breathed, impressed. "That's quite a right hook you got there." 

"SHUT UP," Michael said. "Before I show you the right hook I got." 

Maria guffawed and rolled her eyes. "The only right hook you got, Michael, is attached to the fishing pole you found in your closet," she muttered. 

Michael looked hurt for a second but shook it off. "What has gotten into you lately? I mean, trying to commit homicide with bowls? Eating poor Liz out of house and home? Going all Klepto on us?" he asked. 

"Poor LIZ? POOR Liz?" Maria yelled, outraged. "Is that all you can think of?" 

"Maria. Honey. Let's get some perspective here..." Michael said. 

"I cannot BELIEVE that you would cheat on me with that short flat chested BRUNETTE!" Maria was fuming. "I mean, what kind of girl keeps her hair parted to the SAME SIDE ALL THE TIME?" 

"The kind of girl who wants low maintenance hair?" Michael asked, confused as to where this was going. They were drawing a crowd now. 

"I mean, even when she pulls it into a ponytail it's still parted to the side! And how tall is she? 5'2? 5'4 maybe?" Maria asked. "You'd get a freaking crick in your neck from kissing her! How Max survives I do not know...and I'm not even going to get INTO cup size..." She was rambling now. Not a good sign. 

"Maria, I think we should get you inside. Where it's cooler…I think the heat has been getting to your head..." Michael said, grabbing her arm. 

"And I don't even want to THINK about what you've been doing with Isabel? I mean, granted the girl's tall, and gorgeous, and has breasts the size of IDAHO, but that's besides the point…" She jerked away from him. "I mean, am I not good enough for you, Michael?" 

"No, you're perfect," Michael said seriously. "You're perfect in every way. Your breasts are…EXCELLENT…" He shifted uncomfortably at having been so enthused. Some people snickered. "Your waist is thin, your legs are GREAT…you're smart, and funny, and witty, and can we please go cause this is embarrassing," he said. 

"No. We can't, I'm not convinced," Maria said. 

"Dammit Maria you're a freaking goddes,s okay? You're perfect in every way shape and form. Liz and Isabel can't even measure up to your perfection. You have nothing to be envious about, okay?" 

There was a flash. 

"Really? You think I'm perfect?" There were tears in here eyes. 

"Well yeah." He shrugged, scratching the back of his head. 

"That is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. The kiss went on and on, bursting into an all out street groping session. Maria ran her hands up Michael's chest and he was working on her hair. 

There was a burst of applause from their little audience and Maria blushed, pulling away from him but still standing close to his body. "Though perhaps doing this publicly wasn't a good idea." She mumbled. 

"Just don't move away, okay? Somehow having my current ah…situation…broadcasted to everyone in Roswell isn't appealing..." Michael whispered. 

"Don't worry, I'm staying put. At least now I'm SURE I'm desirable..." she muttered. 

"Shutup...just don't kiss me again or I won't be able to walk into the theater..." he said. 

"I don't think you can walk NOW from the way it feels…" 

"I don't think I'm supposed to be hearing this…" Kyle muttered, shuddering and walking towards the theater. 

"Dammit..." 

*** 

Part 6: Sloth 

*** 

Accidie a.k.a Sloth: rejecting life…associated with laziness. 

*** 

Maria propped her feet up onto her mother's old coffee table. Her head rested in Michael's lap, who was busy flipping through the channels. If there was one thing she had learned in her brief relationship with him it was this: NEVER do anything to interrupt his channel surfing. First of all you won't get his attention unless you smack a nuclear warhead upside his head and second of all if you DO happen to get his attention he'll go all commando on you. It was a scary time in Maria's life. 

"Nothing's on," Michael growled in frustration, tossing the remote onto a basket of laundry Maria had yet to fold. 

"I don't know how you could tell when you were zipping through the channels a million miles an hour." 

"I just know, okay?" 

"Yeah sure ya do," she rolled her eyes. "Give me the remote, I wanna see." 

"Get it yourself," he muttered. "I'm comfortable." 

"Please? So am I," she said, snuggling up against him. 

"Well, you won't be if I get up," he pointed out. 

"I don't care, I'll have the remote and that will be enough." 

"God you're so lazy." 

There was a flash and Maria dug her nails into Michael's arm. 

"Ow! What the heck was that for!" Michael said, wrenching his arm away. 

"I don't know, sorry," Maria said, her eyelids suddenly feeling very heavy. She snuggled up against him. "I'm going to take a little nap." 

"Whatever, I should probably go home anyway," he tried getting up, but Maria, suddenly sound asleep, was latched onto him too tight. "Maria? Maria?" He shook her, not caring if he woke her up or not. He had to get home, dammit. "Dangit Maria, get up!" She didn't even move. 

"Jesus..." 

*** 

"Michael?" Max looked at the phone in confusion. "What's wrong? Is it bad? Did something happen to Liz?" 

Across town Michael rolled his eyes, sighing loudly. "NO, you dork, I can't get up," Michael muttered, emabarrased. 

"Huh?" Max sat up on his bed, tossing his Science World magazine to the side. "What do you mean you can't get up?" 

"Maria just fell asleep on my lap and now I can't wake her up." Michael shrugged even though Max couldn't see it. 

"Why don't you just pry her off of you? Maria is a lot smaller then you." 

"Yeah, tell that to my aching waist, this girl gots a grip like a vise," he grunted. "I think I'm actually losing much needed oxygen." 

"Well, you don't know if your body needs oxygen…" Max pointed out. 

"Well, I'm assuming it does, okay? Now just get your ass over here and do something about this!" 

"Why can't you wake her up? Yell in her ear or shake her or something," Max said. "I'm busy." Well, as busy as a lonely teenager can be on a Friday night. 

"You don't think I tried that already? I even put ice down her bra and it didn't work!" he sighed. 

"T-M-I, Michael. That's all I have to say." Max murmured. "Fine. I'll be right over." 

Max hung up the phone, grabbing his coat from the rack, and Michael leaned back in his seat, struggling to breathe properly. Maria grinned in her sleep. 

*** 

"Well, there's nothing I can do," Max concluded after four and a half hours of trying everything from icewater to blow dryers. 

"Gee really, Sherlock? I hadn't noticed," Michael muttered sarcastically. "At least her grip loosened." His face had turned back from that ugly shade of blue to it's original color and the red marks on his torso were probably going down by now. It was around 9:00 now, and thank god Ms. DeLuca was staying over a "friends" house for the night. 

The phone rang and Maria slowly got up, stretching and yawning. The two boys looked at her in disbelief. 

"Hey," she looked at them in surprise. "What are you dong here?" 

They blinked. 

"You mind getting that?" she asked, leaning against the couch. 

Michael nodded, picking up the phone, still looking at his girlfriend, eyes wide. "Hello?" he said. 

"Michael? This is Liz, is Maria there?" Liz asked. 

"Yeah here," Michael handed Maria the phone. She could barely hold it up. 

"Yeah?" she muttered into the phone. 

"Maria. It's Liz. Listen, we're totally loaded down here and I was wondering if you could come and help out?" Liz asked desperately. 

"Not a flaming chance in hell, Liz, sorry." She clicked the phone off and tossed it into the laundry basket before her friend could reply. 

Across town Liz looked at the phone in disbelief. 

"Michael?" Maria batted her eyelashes at her boyfriend. "Could you make me a sandwhich?" 

Michael looked at her like she was crazy. "Huh?" he said. 

"Please? I'll do anything. And I do mean ANYTHING." She looked at him suggestively. 

Michael gulped and SPRINTED to the kitchen. 

"Again...T-M-I…" Max sighed, leaning against a reclining chair. 

"I think you need a life," Maria said, grinning. 

"I agree…" 

*** 

It was the next Tuesday when they finally realized something was really wrong. Maria's mom was out of town on business or something conveniently, and Maria hadn't shown up for anything. Not work, not school, not even a date with Michael. In fact she had totally skipped on on Girl's Night Out with Liz and Isabel. No one had gotten a call or seen her since Friday. It was a worried group of 5 that finally trekked over to their friends house banging on the door. 

"Come in!" a muffled voice said from the inside. 

"It's locked!" Michael said. 

"Well then don't come in, I don't care," was the half-hearted reply. 

"Maria, this isn't funny, let us in," Michael said, banging on the door once again. 

"Let yourselves in," Maria said. "And while you're at it, could you pick up some eats? I'm kinda hungry. I haven't had anything since Friday." 

Michael gaped at the door. "WHAT?" 

"I had water and stuff," Maria protested. "But only because the faucet was RIGHT THERE. Food is just tooo much effort." 

Max unlocked the door and they stepped inside. 

"Maria?" They found her lying on the couch, in the exact same clothes she had been wearing Friday, glass of water and the remote in her hand. She didn't smell too nice either, but Michael didn't comment, and the others had the foresight not to either. 

"So whatcha doing here?" Maria said, and looked up at them with heavy eyes. 

"We wanted to make sure you were okay..." Michael said, keeping his distance. 

"Fine. Fine. Totally okie dokie, Jerry Springer kind of grows on you," she said, grinning. 

"Maria, have you even left the house?" Liz asked. 

"Nopers," Maria grinned wider. 

"What's that awful smell?" Isabel said, covering her nose. They shot her a look. 

"The milk in the kitchen, Michael left it out," Maria explained. 

"And you didn't put it back?" Max looked at the girl in disbelief. 

"Didn't feel like it," Maria shrugged. 

"Come on, girlie," Isabel and Liz lifted their friend up. "It's time for a bath, and some new clothes." They tried to make her walk but Maria's feet weren't cooperating. They fell to a pile on the floor. The boys looked at them. 

"A little help here?" 

*** 

Maria trudged into school, a pair of green pants, a purple shirt and blue tinted sunglasses her outfit. It wasn't exactly the best thing but it would do. She looked haggard and sleepy. Her hair wasn't brushed and stuck out all over her head much like her boyfriend's, her book bag wasn't filled with anything at all because it was too heavy with stuff in it. She constantly bumped into people in the hall, not bothering to apologize, and it was taking all she had to get from one end of the hall to her classroom. It was not looking good. 

"Hey watch it," a guy yelled when Maria stumbled into him. 

Another kid swerved, barely missing taking Maria's head off with a 2 by 4 from wood shop. Maria didn't even flinch. She trudged into her first period class, collapsing into the first desk she saw, even though it wasn't hers, and falling promptly to sleep. 

*** 

Michael trudged into class, late as usual, surprised to find the very mussed head of his girlfriend asleep on his desk. He took the one beside her, much to the protest of the young man about to sit down, and reached over the aisle, shaking her. 

"Maria? Maria?" No dice. "MARIA!" he yelled, startling a girl in the next seat so bad her compact clattered to the ground, sending bits of powered foundation all over the room. She promptly burst into tears and Michael looked at her, bewildered. 

"That cost me sixteen dollars!" she was weeping. The guy whom Michael had stolen a seat from glared at Michael, wrapping a comforting arm around the girl. 

"It's okay, Shelia. He's a bastard anyway." 

Michael's head snapped up. "Excuse me?" Michael said. "Oh no, you just did not." He got a feeling of déjà vu, recalling vaguely that Maria had said much the same thing to him in one of her very frequent mood swings. 

His fist connected solidly with the guy's jaw and an all out fight broke out, the girl whose makeup had been destroyed cheering the other boy on. They crashed into desks, spilling Maria to the floor in an unnoticed heap, and still they fought on. Mr. Sherman walked in. 

"Good morning-oh my lord." He ran for the two boys, yanking them apart. 

"Mr. Guerin, Mr. Matthews, is there an explanation for this?" Mr. Sherman glared. 

The boys shrugged. 

The bell rang and Maria woke up, slowly stretching. Confused, she looked around. "Okay, what'd I miss?" 

*** 

"Furthermore I don't appreciate the fact that you were sleeping in class, Ms. DeLuca. It was your sleeping that caused this entire escapade." Mr. Sherman was yelling later when the class had finally let out. 

Maria looked at him, bewildered. "How exactly?" she said half-heartedly. 

"It was your sleeping that made Mr. Guerin yell for you to wake. which made poor Shelia drop her makeup. which prompted Mr. Matthews to call him...that name...which prompted Mr. Guerin to take a swing at Mr. Matthews." Mr. Sherman had always been one for practicality, and he just loved to place the blame. On Maria DeLuca's shoulders especially. 

"Whatever," Maria said, closing her eyes, prepared to go to sleep once more. 

"Ohh noo no no, Ms. DeLuca, we will not have another bout of laziness from you." 

There was a flash and Maria toppled backwards in her chair. 

"Damned chair," she offered weakly. Simon Matthews, Michael Guerin and Mr. Sherman looked at her like she was crazy. 

"What'd I do?" 

*** 

Part 7: Pride 

*** 

Pride: Believing yourself to be greater then god, thinking of yourself as the center of the universe. Constantly associated with vanity. 

*** 

"So I have to pay for the broken desks, poor Shelia's compact, the grocery store incident, the clothes that couldn't be returned from the mall, and the food from the Crashdown all with this measly little paycheck," Maria looked at the slip of paper in her hand, then to Mr. Parker. 

"You're lucky you're still receiving that paycheck," he warned, grinning. 

"Thank you soo much, Mr. Parker!" Maria said, quickly kissing his cheek. She skipped out. "But how the hell am I supposed to pay for all that with THIS?" 

"Be proud of yourself honey," Michael said, walking up behind her. "At least your paycheck is in the 3 digit zone." 

There was a flash and Maria stumbled into him. 

"Tree," she offered weakly as he helped her upright. 

"So where are you going?" 

Maria wasn't paying attention. Instead she was looking in the window of an Antique furniture shop, playing with her hair. "I have great hair," she murmured. 

Michael looked at her, confused. "Huh?" 

"I have pretty eyes too." 

Michael blinked. "Yeah...ya do..." He blinked again, confused. 

"Oh MY GOD!" she yelled, startling him. 

"WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?" Michael asked, looking around, bewildered. 

"My hair, it's out of place." She rushed into the store, Michael hot on her heels. "Quick, do you have a bathroom?" 

"A bathroom?" The clerk looked at her, bewildered. 

"YES, A BATHROOM, YOU MINDLESS TWIT!" Maria snapped. 

"Um, in there," the clerk pointed to the back. "But it's-" The clerk didn't get a chance to finish as Maria bolted to the back. "For employees only," she finished weakly, shooting Michael a glare, who shrugged helplessly. 

*** 

In the bathroom Maria looked in the mirror, admiring how gorgeous she was. Tucking her hair behind her ear she shook her head, not liking the effect. She then brought it forward and shook her head again. She reached into her bag and drew out a couple of barrettes; she clipped her meager bangs back and shook her head again. This was going to take awhile… 

2 Hours Later, the poor clerk was looking at the bathroom, wanting more than anything to close up the shop and go home. Michael was half-asleep in the chair; the only thing keeping him awake was the chime of an old grandfather clock. 

"Is your friend okay?" the girl looked at him. 

"Nope…" he shrugged. The girl sighed, popping some gum into her mouth. She was about 17, and bored out of her mind. She looked to Michael appreciatively. 

"Sooo, she your girlfriend?" She chomped on the gum rather loudly, twirling a bit of blonde hair around her finger. 

"Yeah," Michael said, running a hand through his hair. 

The girl looked disappointed. "Does she do this often?" she asked. 

"Nope just recently..,I mean ever since the-" He stopped, a realization coming to his head. "OH MY GOD!!" He hopped up, running to the bathroom. 

"HEY! That's employee's only!" the girl yelped. She sighed, falling onto the counter. "Dammit..." 

*** 

"So you're saying that your powers screwed up something in my head?" Maria asked disbelievingly. 

Michael nodded. 

"Yeah right. Like something could ACTUALLY be wrong with ME. That's impossible." 

Michael raised an eyebrow as if to say "See?" 

Maria ignored him, looking in her compact. 

"Besides, like I would EVER let a commoner like YOU touch my head?" She tossed her head back. "Now be a dear and go fetch me some water. Wouldn't want this perfect little throat to get dry would we?" She batted her eyelashes at him and Michael sighed, banging his head against the wall. 

"MARiA!! I'm begging you, just let Max see your head," Michael begged. "It can't hurt." 

"OF COURSE IT CAN HURT!" Maria yelled. "I mean, he could muss my hair! Or get oil and sweat in it!" She shuddered. "No thank you." 

"MARIA! There could be something DANGEROUS in you," Michael snapped. 

"You dare raise your voice to ME? Maria?" Maria glared haughtily at him. "You shall be punished for your actions." She sat up perfectly straight in an armchair, looking queen like. 

"Uh...okay," Michael said confused. 

"Guards! Take him away!" she called over her shoulder. 

Michael looked around the empty apartment. "Who are you talking to honey?" Michael asked. "You're scarin' me now." 

"DO NOT CONTRADICT ME! HOW DARE YOU!" She stood up right in his face now. "You will show some respect! Bow before your queen!" 

"Oh god..." 

*** 

"So you did something to her head to help her with that extra credit assignment and that's why she's been acting funny?" Liz blinked at him. Max sighed. Alex rolled his eyes. 

"And you just NOW figured it out?" Isabel asked in disbelief. "Talk about dense." Michael growled at her. 

"And now she won't let anyone fix it," Max finished. 

"She locked herself in my room, she thinks she's a queen…." Michael muttered. 

Isabel burst out laughing. "Oh that's rich. Maria a queen…court jester MAYBE, but queen?" Isabel was laughing too hard to catch the glare Michael gave her. 

"Did you try unlocking the door?" Max asked. Michael held up his burnt hand and then pointed to a welded lock. 

"Well, hell…" Max sighed. "Now what do we do?" 

"Well I was thinking you could fix my hand first and then the lock," Michael shrugged. "Sounds like a good plan to me." 

"Fine," Max sighed. "But I am so sick of bailing you out of things." 

"It wasn't MY fault!" 

"Then whose fault was it?" 

"Maria's!" 

"How?" 

"You don't know how she gets, man. She gets this glint in her eye and then you KNOW it's all over." 

"Wuss." 

"Oh, you're one to talk, P-Whipped." 

"Shut up." 

"Just fix the goddamned door and let's get this over with!" Michael yelled finally. 

Max sighed and walked over to the door. Placing his hand over it, he concentrated, melding the pieces back the way the original lock had looked, and then unlocking it. 

Maria was inside, staring at a mirror on Michael's dresser, an old bathrobe around her shoulders and a spoon in her hand. Isabel burst out laughing at the sight. Michael took a step towards her. 

"How dare you enter my chambers without permission," Maria said, glaring at the group through the mirror. 

Michael took another step towards her. "Maria," he said slowly.

"And how dare you use my Christian Name!" she whirled around in the chair. "You will show me some respect, boy, or you will remove yourself from my kingdom! GUARDS!" Again Isabel laughed. 

Maria looked at her. "Is she daft?" Maria asked. 

Isabel stopped laughing, offended. No one insulted her. 

"Maria, we just want to help you," Michael carefully took a step towards her. 

"You want my throne!" Maria leapt from the chair. "GUARDS!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as Michael tackled her onto the bed. 

"Somehow I didn't think I'd get you into my bed like this..." Michael muttered, trying to hold her down as she struggled. She was strong, but he was stronger. 

"GET OFF ME! HELP! RAPE! MURDER! HOW DARE YOU!" she bucked, trying to bite and claw her way out from under him but to no avail. Alex and Max went to help. 

"It took three of you to hold her down?" Isabel raised an eyebrow. "How unfortunate." 

"Come on Max, fix her!" Michael yelled. 

"I can't if she won't cooperate!" Max yelled back over her shrieks of protest. 

"We have to get her back to her real self somehow!" Liz yelled. 

"How?" Alex replied. 

Liz paused, thinking a moment. 

"How did she change in the first place?" Isabel asked. 

Michael suddenly had a breakthrough. "Pride!" Michael yelled triumphantly. 

There was a flash and Maria fell back against the mattress. 

"Get the hell off me!" she yelled and they immediately leapt back. "What the hell is going on!" she yelled, backing up against the headboard and shrinking away from them. "What's wrong with me?" She clapped eyes on Michael. "You!" she growled at him, pointing her finger at him she slinked towards him. "You did this to me," she said. Michael backed away. "You did this." 

"Uh, Maria, sweetie….don't do that," Michael gulped. 

"Maria!" Max grabbed her just as she leapt at her boyfriend. "Calm down, I'll fix it." 

She froze."Fine," she said stiffly. "But then-" she shot a warning at Michael, who pressed his back against the wall in fear. Isabel snorted. 

"Your not helping," Max snapped. "Okay, Maria, sit down." 

She did, reluctantly plopping down onto the mattress. Max placed his hands on her head and Michael growled, jealous that he couldn't be the one to do the fixing. 

"Okay now relax and breathe." He closed his eyes, concentrating on making a connection. He had it, their breathing synchronized and Maria closed her eyes as well. He searched, trying to find the problem. There. He reached for it, concentrating on just that spot. It worked, he disconnected and they both opened their eyes. 

"Better?" he asked. 

"I guess…" she shrugged. 

"Pride," Michael said. Nothing happened. "Lust." Again nothing. "Ah dammit." 

Maria punched his arm playfully. 

"NEVER DO THAT AGAIN." This time she punched his arm for real. 

"ME? ME? It was your idea!" 

"Well you're the wuss who went along with it!" 

"I cannot believe you're blaming this on me!" 

"Who am I supposed to blame it on?" 

"Take responsibility for your actions!" 

"Make me." She stuck her tongue out at him. 

"Dear god, make it stop," Isabel sighed. 

Alex smiled. "Now things are back to normal…" 

The End

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   [1]: mailto:DizzyGirl85@aol.com



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